Part 6 A timeless connection J2 bigbang

[dol_moon]

It’s been two weeks and he has successfully avoided Jared no matter how hard he has actually tried to see him from afar, his attempts unsuccessful. Jensen is sitting at his desk as he hears people talking in the hall. He hears the sound of metal clanging and ice being poured into metal barrels. He knows what is coming; its Friday night again after all and there is going to be a serious party outside his room.

Jensen opens his door and looks out to see Aldis and Chris filling the barrels with beer bottles and cans. Chris looks up. “Hey Dude.” He pushes at Aldis. “It’s that hermit who lives across the hall from us, what’s his name.” Aldis laughs. “Um… Jensen, I think.” He says laughing. “Very funny guys.” Jensen says stepping out into the hallway. “Need any help?” He grabs a case of beer cans and starts to open it. “Always.” Aldis says smacking Jensen’s ass as he turns to start filling the other barrel. “Hey, off limits.” Jensen says shaking it at him. “Until I’m good and drunk and then… well, it’s fair game.” He laughs and Aldis raises an eyebrow. “Will someone pass this man a beer?”

Jensen changes into something more party worthy. He picks out his favorite black t-shirt with the Led Zeppelin transfer on it and a pair of faded 501 blues. He musses up his short hair with mousse and puts on his hemp necklace with the one single blue bead in the center. He winks at himself in the mirror then points his finger at himself like a gun and clicks his cheek. Time to get’em tiger. he says to his reflection.

He opens his door to the loud pulsing music and bops out the door looking up and down the hall which is starting to fill up with people. He grabs a beer and settles against the wall outside of his door trying to look super cool and interesting. Several girls engage him in conversation and flirt with him but he just keeps it casual.

Jensen is on his fourth beer and is having a few shots of Tequila with Aldis who has him secluded in a corner by the fire exit at the far end of the hallway. He keeps leaning in brushing shoulders as he talks into Jensen’s ear. Jensen feels a bit uncomfortable but then again Aldis isn’t a bad looking guy but he feels weird like he would be cheating on Jared and then it all snaps into place. He won’t be cheating on Jared and his heart sinks just as Aldis puts his hand on Jensen’s chest and leans in tight whispering in his ear. “Another shot before we go back to your room.” Jensen looks at him and swallows hard. He’s not pulling any punches about what he wants and Jensen isn’t sure what he wants to do, thinks about Jared walking down the hallway away from him and takes Aldis’s forearm. “No, I’m ready now.” He says turning and heading down the hallway, Aldis following close behind him.

Jensen goes into his room and stands next to the bed. Aldis enters and stops in the doorway looking at how Jensen is standing next to the bed toeing his sneakers off calves touching the edge of the bed and he rubs his hands over his thighs. Jensen pulls his t-shirt up above his waist giving Aldis a preview. “Shut the door and turn the latch honey.” He says coyly catching his bottom lip between his teeth. Aldis obeys.

Jensen sits on the edge of the bed and leans back on his elbows looking up at Aldis standing there pulling his shirt off ,exposing the dark flesh of his long lean body, his muscular abdomen rippling with his movements. Jensen’s breath quickens at the beauty of his sinuous muscles gleaming in the low light of the room. Aldis sits down on the edge of the bed kicking off his shoes as he leans back, his face turned to Jensen’s. He runs his thumb over Jensen’s cheek touching the thick line of freckles just below his eyes. “You don’t have any clue how long I’ve been watching you, wanting you, seeing you bring all those pretty white boys in here and wanting to know what you were doing to them to make them keep coming back over and over again.” Aldis’s voice is low and soft with a tinge of gravel deep in his throat. He looks deep into Jensen’s eyes. “They’re so green, so gorgeous and I want them to look at me like they look at all those others when that door is closed.” He leans forward and kisses Jensen’s warm lips, the soft flesh giving with his touch as he positions himself closer almost looming over Jensen as Jensen leans back against the bed their bodies touching, the hot flesh of their bellies molding together and Jensen reaches up to run his hand down Aldis’ bare back feeling the hard muscles under tender dark flesh. His fingertips dance lightly down his spine and all he can imagine is how his hot mouth is going to feel on his cock that is now pressing against his tight jeans.

Aldis moves his mouth down over Jensen’s jaw to his neck where he licks and sucks at the tender flesh admiring the pink circles he’s making across his collar bone. “MMM so sexy.” He murmurs into Jensen’s neck. Jensen tilts his head back giving him more skin as he grinds his pelvis hard into Aldis’ thigh.

Aldis shifts and rolls on his back popping the button on his jeans before slipping them down and kicking them off. Jensen marvels in the long expanse of body splayed out next to him. Aldis runs his fingers under Jensen’s waistband tugging at the button, slipping the zipper down and setting Jensen’s hard cock free. He plays with the head, his smile wide, and he looks into Jensen’s eyes. “I never imagined it like this Jensen, so sensual.” Jensen slips his hand around Aldis’s stiff cock, feeling the heat and weight of it as he tilts it sideways for a better grip. Aldis moans at the gentle touch and Jensen leans over covering his mouth, slipping his tongue inside,sliding across the wet pink flesh and then over moist lips as he retracts back into his own mouth letting his lips work tenderly at Aldis’ mouth. He pulls into Aldis’ body clinging to him, feeling all the heat and want, everything he wants to be feeling with Jared. Their hearts thrashing in their chests with all the desire, the touch of lips, hands grasping tight, fingers splayed out over hot skin as they work their way up the bed, bodies stretched out against each other, hands working in timed motion, the soft glide of cotton sheets under Jensen and he can feel the weight of Aldis shift completely down on him and he grunts, a surging passionate heat burning their skin as their mouths never lose contact slick slide of tongues deep and needy. Naked, wanton flesh pressed so tightly together, sweat slicking need as hips gyrate and bang into each other in uncoordinated passion and Jensen wants this to be Jared. He remembers what this feels like with Jared. He pants hard into Aldis’s mouth, breathy words he should only be speaking for Jared. His hand slides down Aldis’s back into the curve just above his ass and he remembers that dip, that curvature that swoops with every thrust as Jared stares down into his face his length smooth on his body, sweat dripping from his chin as he thrusts in and out of Jensen’s body making fireworks of pleasure surge hard and explode bright and powerful and this feeling is only for Jared, only with Jared.

Aldis looks down into Jensen’s eyes as he pulls soft languishing strokes over his hard dick. “What do you want me to do to you Jensen?” He whispers, his dark eyes blown black with need and desire. Jensen doesn’t think before his mouth is moving with words flowing out before he can stop them. “I want you to be Jared.” He pushes Aldis off of him, breaking their connection and grabs the pillow covering his fading erection as he jumps to his feet. Aldis looks confused as he reaches for Jensen. “Did I do something wrong?” His voice urgent and sad, brow furrowed in confusion. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me Aldis, all me, I can’t I… just can’t do this I’m in love with someone else.” He turns and looks out the window across the dark courtyard searching for Jared’s dorm in the dark barely lit din of the night.

Aldis stands up, steps behind him and puts his hands on his shoulders whispering into his ear. “There isn’t love in this space between us, just desire and sex Jensen.” He runs his fingers over his shoulders down his arms to his hands and tugs at them. “Come back to bed, I’ll make you feel so good.” Jensen sighs. “The problem is there’s no love between us Aldis. I don’t want to just feel good. I want Jared, I want love, and I need forever in his eyes.” A tear falls down Jensen’s cheek, the lamplight catching it as it glistens against his pale skin. Aldis squeezes Jensen’s hand, pulls him towards the bed. “Let me get you off Jensen, just let’s get each other off and we can call it a night. Please.” He says his hand stroking his own cock trying to pull Jensen down on the bed with him. “Not tonight, not any night Aldis. Just jack yourself off and go. Tell them anything you want, I don’t care if you make me sound like the biggest slut you ever slept with to cover your reputation just don’t be here when I get back.” He picks up his pants, slips them on, pushes his bare feet into his shoes, and grabs his shirt before leaving the room, abandoning Aldis on his bed.

Jensen pushes through the throng of people lining the hallway, grabs a couple beers and the bottle of tequila before he opens the door to the stairwell, stumbling down in a heated frenzy, tears on the edge of his emotions as he bursts out the double doors into the cold night, bottles clanking against him as he breaks into a dead run sprinting across the damp slick grass of the courtyard.

He falls against a tree on the edge of the duck pond across from the science building, his hands shaking as he slides down the rough bark dropping a beer and the tequila bottle on the ground as he twists off the cap of the other beer bottle. He throws the cap into the pond before tilting his head back and downing half of the bottle in several hard gulps, he pulls the bottle from his lips panting, swiping the wet from his mouth with the back of his hand before pulling his knees up to his chest, cradling his beer bottle next to his chest and sobbing uncontrollably, Jared the word on his lips as they quiver uncontrollably.

He finishes his beer and pops the other one open making quick waste of it too, tossing the bottle at the science building, cursing the day he met Jared, the day he wanted to help him, the day he stopped slipping, and the day he started to slip again. He wants to be angry, he wants to feel anger instead of pain but it’s all so twisted up inside, so tangled with the love, admiration, and desire that he can’t tell where one emotion starts and one ends. He twists the cap off of the half empty bottle of tequila drinking a long swig, gagging on the bitter poisonous taste as he swallows it. He wonders if he can drink enough to forget, to pass out right here on the wet grass against this tree that Jared has to pass every day on his way to lab in the morning. He wonders if he would even bother to come over and see if he was alive or dead. The chill in the air rushes across him and he stands up, stumbles across to the path and follows it to Jared’s dorm and stands outside on the lawn staring up at the windows wondering which one is his or is he on the other side. He thinks about yelling Padalecki into the night air, or something even cheesier like holding up a boom box playing Sunshine by The All American-Rejects until he comes to the window or doors and looks out, the only problem is that the song and the band don’t even exist yet and he hates the movie Say anything for the cheesy boom box scene alone.

He stumbles backwards falling against the bench next to the pathway jolting himself and spilling his tequila. Wonderful, just wonderful. He sputters out, his words starting to slur from the copious amount of alcohol he’s consumed.

He slumps over tipping the bottle to his lips again the taste still bitter in his mouth and he thinks he deserves it, a bad taste for what he did to Jared. Why didn’t I wait, why did I spill everything to him like that. No wonder he thinks I’m a mad man, what proof did I have? He’s talking to himself, gesturing with his hands, tilting and sloshing the liquor on the ground when he sees a piece of brown paper bag following the cool breeze and he puts his foot on it, an idea hitting him like a thunderbolt and he drops his bottle on the ground as he picks up the piece of paper. He pokes his hand in his jean pockets looking for a pen, pencil, or crayon, anything to write with but nothing. He looks around on the ground but nothing to write with. He sees a couple walking across the lawn and he calls out in a drunken slur as he quickly staggers across the lawn to them.

“Hey, could you help a love stricken guy out here?” He says his words running together as his thick tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. They start to walk away but he pleads with them. “Do you have a pen or pencil?” He says begging. “I need it really bad right now, want to compose a sonnet to my love and take it to his room. Please help a guy would you.” The girl laughs at him and pulls a pen from her purse and hands it to him. “I hope he appreciates it buddy.” She says as they walk away. Jensen calls to them. “Thanks I’ll get this back to you.”

He staggers back to the bench and leans on his knee and begins writing the lyrics to Jared’s favorite song; Sunshine by The All American-Rejects.

It's a new day
It's a bright day
Even when you stand in the dark
It's just that
You've been broken into fifty pieces
Today is gone
I'm the only light that you see
You need someone
I know all you needed was me

Everyday we awake if it takes too long
Just tell me something new
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone

Another pale moon
Shines like high noon
Midnight never felt so cold alone
It's just that you're uneasy
When you need me
Today is gone
I'm the only light that you see
You need someone
I know all you needed was me

Everyday we awake if it takes too long
Just tell me something new
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone
You can say it's right, but it feels so wrong
Just show me something true
Forget about the sunshine
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone

Today is gone
I'm the only light that you see
You need someone
I know all you needed was me

Everyday we awake if it takes too long
Just tell me something new
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone
You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong
Just show me something true
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone

Everyday we wake if it takes too long
Just tell me something new
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone
You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong
Just show me something true
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone

You can think it's right, but it feels so wrong
Just show me something true
Forget about the sunshine
Forget about the sunshine when it's gone

This is your favorite song Jared, it’s Sunshine by the All American Rejects and you love it, have it on your iPod playlist three times back to back. You love to listen to it when you’re running with the dogs Sadie and Harley. I know you think I’m crazy, hell I might be crazy for all I know but in case I’m not, you have to listen to me.

Tuesday at about 4pm or a little after, I really can’t remember the exact time as it was 10yrs ago, in front of the library there is a couple sitting on the lawn having a picnic, it’s raining out and looks really weird to everyone, people are looking at them and he jumps up and yells that they are having a baby and then he proposes right there in front of everyone crossing campus. There is a punk girl with purple hair who yells hell yeah and pumps her fist in the air as she walks by and a professor with a blue and pink umbrella walking down the library steps, I think it is professor Wilkins from the Lit department, he stops at the bottom of the steps and lights a half smoked cigar and I’m or I was standing on the path beside the couple and start clapping for them. I won’t be there, I’ll make sure of it but I hope you stand where I said I was standing, you’ll know where cause the couple will be picnicking next to the path in front of the oak tree. This is the proof I’m offering you. It’s going to be raining so take your umbrella. If you want to seek me out after that I’ll be in my dorm room waiting, if you don’t show up I’ll know you didn’t go and you don’t care and still think I’m crazy. Jensen

Jensen folds the paper in half and pushes the pen in his pocket; he picks up his tequila and swallows down several gulps for courage before throwing it backwards on the ground as he walks up the cement steps to the double doors of Jared’s dorm.

He walks in and looks at the row of mailboxes with numbers all over them but no names, he composes himself and staggers into the main hall and back to the community room where several people are watching television on the couch. “Excuse me?” He says and they look at him. “But could you tell me where the little skinny guy Jared Padalecki’s room is?” He sways, his words slurring as he holds himself steady with the doorjamb. They look at him and laugh. “No Dude, who are you look’n for?” one guy says. “A skinny tall kid with brown moppy hair named Jared Padalecki.” He gestures by messing up his hair and putting his hand at this tall signal. The guys laugh at him. “No dude I don’t know him.” Jensen staggers away and climbs the stairs to the first floor pulling the door open and staggering down the hall. He looks in all the rooms with open doors calling Jared’s name and one guy comes out of his room, Jensen stops him. “Hey do you know where Jared Padalecki’s room is?” The guy waves a hand in front of his nose. “Dude have you been hitting the tequila?” Jensen smiles and then snorts. “Yes but that’s not what I want to know, where is Jared Padalecki’s room.” The guy shakes his head. “I don’t know him, does he have a roommate?” Jensen sways falling into the wall and lifts his index finger into the air. “Yes, his name is Chad, he kicks Jared out when he brings girls back to the room.” He leans into the guy’s ear and whispers, “he’s a real douche.” He then leans back out and continues. “He makes Jared sleep down in the community room a few times a week.”
“Oh you mean Chad Murray’s skinny, tall, anti social roommate. Oh yeah they are on the fourth floor room 402 I think, in the back.” Jensen sways putting an arm around the man to clap him on the back. “Thanks buddy, I own you one.” He winks at the man and heads to the stairwell again.

He climbs to the fourth floor and staggers down the hall looking at all the numbers on the doors, peeking in open doors, until he finds 402. He stands in front of it for what seems like hours listening for sounds inside, any sound that Jared might be awake and moving around but nothing so he decides he can’t knock, can’t see him, so he slides the paper under the door, leans his head on it and whispers. I’ll be waiting Jared. Before he heads back to his dorm room.

He gets back to his room, the halls empty, the music gone and he hopes that Aldis isn’t sitting on his bed waiting for him when he opens the door. He turns the knob and takes a deep breath before opening the door but his room is empty, no one on the bed and he breathes a sigh of relief. He lumbers over to the bed, falls face down on it, the room spinning, his head buzzing and he covers his face with the pillow before passing out.

*****

Jared is woken up yet again by Chad as he thumps him with a pillow laughing and yelling in his face. “Get up Weasel, get up.” He yells at him in a drunken slur. Jared sits up and rubs his eyes, seeing Chad and some no named girl in a short skirt with bleached blonde hair, he reaches behind himself to grab his pillow and blanket before heading out the door. He slides his feet into his shoes and starts out the door when Chad stops him. “Wait Weasel.” He throws a piece of wrinkled up paper at him his name scrawled on the front of it. “It’s a love note from some douche Jensen or some gay twitwad name like that.” He then shoves him out the door, the girl giggling and he slams it shut behind him.

Jared makes his way to the community room and settles in on the sofa, holding the crumpled up piece of paper in his hand. He thinks about throwing it away because he doesn’t want to read what Jensen has to say. He worries it between his fingers, flipping it over and over, then smoothing it out on his knee but not unfolding it, not daring to look at the black inked words teasing him by faintly bleeding through the other side.

He puts his hand behind his head and stares at the paper resting on his knee, weighing the pros and cons of reading it. Just because I read it doesn’t mean I have to believe it. He will never know if I read it. What can reading it hurt, the best I can get out of it is a good laugh. I’m reading it. No, he doesn’t have anything to say I want to hear. No I’m reading it. He goes back and forth in his mind taking the paper, staring to unfold it and then settling it back on his knee again continuing the ritual before he finally takes it from his knee, smoothes it out over his palm, and opens it. He stares at the small scratching of words written out like a poem letting them fill his brain as he wonders what they mean. He reads the first line of the letter addressed directly to him and folds it back up, ponders them, his lip quivering with fear. He then opens it back up again curious at what else Jensen is claiming he knows about him in the “future”. He reads the words, the directions, description of Tuesday at 4pm in front of the library. He wonders why he would say this, why he would say these things that he can’t control like the weather. What if it is raining on Tuesday, what if it isn’t. What does he gain by telling him these things? Jared holds the note close to his chest before he proceeds to read the last lines about Jensen not being there but he will be waiting in his room if Jared wants to see him. If he wants to go and see if what he says is true and wants to talk to him about it.

Jared folds the paper in half, tucks it into the pocket in his pajama bottoms but he can’t sleep, all he does is think all night about what it says, he even takes it out a few more times and rereads it, the song lyrics being burned into his brain and he thinks about the names of the dogs Sadie and Harley. He feels anticipation at the thought of waiting until Tuesday, 4 whole days away but he’s not even sure if he is going to go but he has an option and why would Jensen say these things that might make him look even more insane than he already is. He has a decision to make by Tuesday morning and it all depends on Mother Nature at this point.

Jensen wakes up, his head pounding, the night before a bit blurry but he remembers two things clearly. He almost slept with his neighbor Aldis Hodge and he wrote Jared a letter with some kind of proof that he knows the future of Tuesday along with song lyrics. He rubs his head and vows that tequila is not his friend before running out the door to the bathroom.

He finishes vomiting for the past 20minutes and knows there is no way there is anything left in his stomach to come up. He crawls over to the sink pulling himself up and washes his face with cold water. He looks in the mirror seeing Aldis standing behind him coming out of the shower room.

Aldis looks at him and turns away a disgusted look on his face, but Jensen calls after. “Hey Aldis.” Aldis looks back at him with annoyance. “Look Jensen you don’t need to say anything to me.” Jensen leans against the sink for support his head pounding. “I… really… I seriously don’t remember much about last night other than we almost fucked and then…. I left you naked on my bed while I ran out to.. well, I don’t really know what I wanted to accomplish last night. All I know is what I did to you… it wasn’t right, but sleeping with you would have been far worse, for me anyway.” Aldis shrugs his shoulders. “You know, I’ve watched you taking guys back to your room from the parties for awhile now. Like 2yrs of watching you whore yourself out to the prettiest boys at the parties and they kept coming back for more Jensen Ackles and you kept giving them more. I always wanted to know what was so great about Jensen Ackles, so last night I saw my opportunity and I took it. When you were kissing me it was like I was the only man on the Earth, like you wanted me more than anything else and that made me want you more than anything or anyone else. I was so wrapped up in you Jensen, so caught up in what you were giving me, letting me do to you and I didn’t even care when you pulled off me told me you loved someone else. I just wanted the great Jensen Ackles to take me into his web and have his way with me, just once before I wouldn’t have the chance again.”
“I’m so sorry.” Aldis stops him. “No Jensen, you know what Chris helped me to realize last night?” Jensen looks at him mournfully. “What?” “He helped me realize that you’re not the great Jensen Ackles, you’re just a man like every other man and fucking you or not fucking you is no loss because I don’t love you and you don’t love me.” He then turns and leaves before Jensen can react to his words.

*****

Jared spends Saturday at the campus Library doing research and studying for his Biology test on Monday. He looks at the door every time he hears it opening. The Library is empty on Saturday mornings and he kind of wonders if he’ll see Jensen but maybe he won’t, maybe he doesn’t really want to see him. He pulls the note out from his sweatshirt pocket still folded in half, his name bolded in black ink across the front, the wrinkles now waxen with oils from how many times he’s smoothed it out and stared at it. He’s not sure why he is even entertaining the thought of following its instructions, why he even cares what Jensen says but he is intrigued by the fact that he wrote this song down, this nonexistent song that is supposedly his favorite on his iPod and he claims it will be raining on Tuesday. He rubs his fingers along the edges of the paper thinking about how there is no way Jensen can control the weather so if it doesn’t rain how would he explain being wrong. He stuffs the paper back into his pocket and tries to concentrate on his studies because Tuesday is too far away from today and he has bigger things on his mind.

*****

Jensen spends Saturday in bed nursing his hangover. He replays his drunken actions over and over in his head, regretting Aldis and how he must have hurt him or he wouldn’t have needed to talk to Chris about it. He rubs his hand over his face and groans. He talked to fucking Chris about it.

He thinks about sliding that piece of ripped paper bag under Jared’s door, with the proclamation that Jared loves the song Sunshine and that he is using the actions and weather of Tuesday to prove to him that he has been here before and can jump through time. Well, he could jump through time.

He pulls the covers up over his head and moans into his pillow. How did I let things get so fucked up?

Sunday he spends the day catching up on his assignments and sleeping. He hears yelling and cheering in the hallway as Chris and Aldis have other people in their room to watch the football game but understands why he wasn’t invited this time and it’s okay with him because he needs to keep his mind preoccupied with his schoolwork.

Around 2pm his stomach starts to growl and he opens his little refrigerator but it’s empty all but some spoiled milk and a half eaten egg salad sandwich which he is pretty sure wasn’t green when he put it in there a few days ago. He rummages through his desk drawers where he keeps his really good snacking items but all he finds is a single snack size bag of cool ranch Doritos with one chip left in the bag. He eats it begrudgingly; it’s horribly stale and tastes like old cooking fat.

He slips on his coat and decides that he’s leaving the sanctuary of his room for some food. He grabs the book he’s reading for his lit class, tucks it under his arm and heads out the door. He looks across at Chris and Aldis’ room, and he can see it’s packed full with other dorm mates crowded in on folding chairs, across the beds or standing yelling at the game. Aldis looks up and sees Jensen leaving. He waves at him, lifts his beer in a friendly want one gesture but Jensen just waves and shakes his head no before heading down the hall to the Exit.

It’s a cold October day, the air is damp and the skies are covered with dark clouds looming overhead. He tucks his hands in his jacket pockets to keep them warm, his breath visible when he exhales through his mouth and his hair damp with the light mist hanging in the air. He makes his way to the student union passing Jared’s dorm on the way and he looks up always hoping to see him coming out or going in but as usual he doesn’t.

*****

Jared settles in with a cold lunchmeat sandwich from the vending machine and a pack of stale potato chips and chocolate milk. He opens his Chemistry book and lays it beside him on the yellow topped table of the Student Union Community Lounge. He takes a bite of the dry sandwich wincing at the stale taste but he needs sustenance, it’s too cold to walk to the diner and the cafeteria is closed on Sundays. He tucks his highlighter pen behind his ear settling in for his study session.

*****

Jensen rolls his eyes at the big black letters CLOSED on the white sign hanging outside of the cafeteria. He then remembers it’s closed on Sundays before heading down the hall to the vending machines in the Community Lounge.

He pulls the wooden double doors open, there are a few people at the tables eating vending machine food and he sees Jared, his back to the doors, a book open and he doesn’t seem to see Jensen. Jensen’s heart sinks to his stomach. He wants to go over and ask if he got his note, if he read it, and how nuts does he still think he is? But he can’t, his feet won’t let him, he just sighs and goes over to the vending machine. He scans the sparse selection left in the machine and decides on the French bread pizza. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his money but all he has is a five and there is no change machine. He stuffs the money back into his pocket and is heading out the door when he looks over to see Jared watching him. He smiles at him and Jared nods his head in a knowing manner. Jensen blinks, his heart like a heavy weight in his chest and he feels himself moving towards Jared before he can stop himself.

Jared shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he watches Jensen move towards him, his palms are sweating and he wants to jump up and run away but he can’t, his feet won’t let him move so he just sits there watching him get closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of him.

“Hey.” Jensen says looking down at Jared a half hearted smile across his lips the feeling of fear and being so totally unsure if this is the right thing to do or not running ramped in his brain.

“Hey.” Jared says heart racing, palms sweatier than before and he rubs them down over his light gray slacks. “Have a seat.” He points to the empty seat beside him, his mouth moving before his brain has a chance to catch up and rationally stop him.

Jensen pulls the chair out and sits down. He feels awkward and so totally unsure of himself. He rubs the back of his neck and fingers at the page of Jared’s book. “Chemistry huh?” He looks up into Jared’s eyes hoping for a glimpse of reassurance that he doesn’t still think he’s nuts but all he sees is wonderment.

“Yeah.” Jared says pushing his sandwich to the side and fiddling with the chip bag. “I hate it but it’s a science requirement and I wanted to get it over with.”

“Yeah, Chemistry sucks. I only took a science because it’s a graduation requirement; I really don’t need one for my major.

“What are you majoring in?” Jared says his voice a little stern with the question.

“I’m majoring in Sociology.” He says picking at the edge of the table like a shy little kid being chastised by an adult.

“Cool.”

“Yeah I think so.” Jensen pushes the chair back. “I better go; I have to get something to eat and no change for the machines. I think I’ll head over to Subway and get a sub.” He stands up and turns to leave.

Jared watches him leave, puts his hand in his pocket, feels the note, he has some questions he wants answered and calls after Jensen. “Hey, want some company?” He says stuffing his books into his messenger bag.

Jensen turns and looks at him surprised. “Yeah, sure.” Jared catches up and walks next to him as they exit the building.

The sun is peeking through the dark clouds; the misty air is drier as they walk across campus into town. Neither speaks a word as they walk. Jensen looks at Jared with a sideways glance as they reach the main street just off the campus. Jared has a pensive look on his face like he wants to say something but can’t and Jensen sighs, his heart sore with each beat.

They walk across the street, past the post office and down the main shopping area to the Subway shop; Jensen holds the door open for Jared.

They study the menu and Jared orders a meatball sub with everything, Jensen gets the BMT with everything but jalapeños. They sit in a booth next to the window and Jensen shakes his head and picks a jalapeño off of his sandwich. Jared licks his lips. “Mind if I take that?” He asks reaching for it. Jensen laughs. “No, be my guest.” He thinks back to how Jared loves Jalapenos or really anything super hot, must be his San Antonio upbringing he always thought. Jared takes the pepper and pops it in his mouth with a smile making yummy noises. “Always reminds me of home.” He says before adding “That’s.” and Jensen says it in unison with him. “San Antonio Texas.” Same sing songy rhythm and tone as Jared. Jared stops chewing and looks at Jensen. “Yeah.” He says with a wary sound in his voice. Jared looks down at his sandwich and thinks about the paper folded neatly in his pocket but decides to take a bite of his sub first.

Jensen studies his sandwich before looking over at Jared. “Look Jared, I know you didn’t come here because you enjoy my company. I’m wondering why you did come here with me, is it because I put that note under your door Friday night?” He rubs the back of his neck and looks back down at his sandwich nervously.

Jared reaches in his pocket and pulls the scrap of paper out, unfolds it carefully and lays it on the table between them. “Actually I do have a lot of questions for you.” He says very sure of himself pointing to the song. “This song that I supposedly love so much. Why do I love it?” He says looking into Jensen’s eyes. Jensen swallows hard. “Why Jared, Why put me through this when I know you don’t believe me.” He stares at the note, Jared’s finger still resting next to the lyrics. “Because Jensen, I want to know why I love this song so much, does it have meaning for me; does it have a meaning for… us?” Jensen sighs deep, his hands are sweating and he has lost his appetite. “Do you really want to know why you like that damned song so much?” He says with a tinge of anger. Jared taps his finger next to the lines on the paper. “Yes Jensen, I do.” Jensen leans forward. “See that line right there.” He puts his finger next the lyrics Every day we awake if it takes too long Just tell me something new Forget about the sunshine when it's gone.
Jared looks at the lyrics. “Yeah, so?” He looks back at Jensen. “Those lyrics make you think of all the possibilities that life has to offer, how they slip away in the blink of an eye if you don’t go for them. They make you think about how you are always searching for the Something New out there, that undiscovered thing that we overlook that plays a big part in our lives and what if feels like when you finally do discover it. Hell you live those lyrics with your job, always looking for that new theory that breaks all of the preconceived notions from before.” Jensen runs his fingers over the smeared ink and smiles mournfully.

Jared looks up from the paper. “And what Job would that be, what do I do that would allow me to use some song lyrics?” “You’re a Theoretical Physicist Jared.” “But I’m a Biology major.” “Yeah, well, you change it.” Jared shakes his head in disbelief. “I hate physics.” Jensen smiles at him his right brow arched high. “No, you hate chemistry. Biology and Math are your strong points and when you finally do decide to change your major to Theoretical Physics you’re going to find that piece that you think is missing from your life.”

Jared looks out the window and then looks back at the piece of paper and puts his finger on the dog’s names. “I have dogs named Sadie and Harley? Why do I have dogs, I’ve never had a pet and why Sadie and Harley?”

“You volunteered your Senior Year for an animal rescue outfit for extracurricular credits. You rescued Sadie; she’s a half dingo, half German Sheppard and fell in love with her. You loved her so much that you moved out of your dorm, got a small studio off campus that would let you have a dog and kept her. Harley, well he is a story within itself. You rescued him too but from an abusive owner who abandoned him, when you found him he was skinny, half dead and timid. Now he’s strong, happy and totally has a crotch obsession.” Jared looks at Jensen like he’s telling the best tale he’s ever heard. “Yeah, but why did I give them the names Sadie and Harley?” Jensen rubs the back of his neck. “Sadie I really don’t know why but Harley had a leather collar around his neck that said Harley Davidson on it so he got stuck with it.” Jared smiles, a knowing look in his eye. “I bet I named Sadie after Sandy’s daughter Sadie. She’s so sweet, because sometimes when Mike can’t watch her she brings her to the tutoring sessions. She is so sweet, quiet and loving.” Jensen smiles before adding. “That’s Sadie alright, well, all but the sweet, because that dog has some issues with being protective.”

Jared thinks about asking the last question but figures what can it hurt. “Do you think Tuesday is going to prove to me that everything you’re telling me is the truth?” Jensen looks seriously at Jared. “It’s the only proof I have Jared. How can I prove something to you that there is no proof for yet, but to tell you the uncontrollable future?”

He thinks about what Jensen said, takes the paper from the table and folds it in half again tucking it back into his pocket. “I think I should go now.” He says wrapping his sandwich up and putting it in his bag with tons of extra napkins. Jensen watches him unable to think of why he should stop him because there is nothing between them, this isn’t the Jared of 2005, this isn’t the Jared he knows and loves, this is the Jared he’s never met, the Jared of 2000 and until he can prove to him that he isn’t lying to him he can’t build anything with him. Jared stands up, looks at Jensen like he’s going to say something but then looks out the window with a distant look in his eyes, but instead turns and leaves.

*****



Chapter 7