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dol_moon*****
It’s Monday morning and the alarm goes off, Jensen rolls over slamming his palm down on the button wishing it would break. He didn’t get any sleep at all because all he could think about was Jared walking away from him the day before.
He sits up on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands wondering if class is really as important now as it was 10years ago. Nothing is ever going to be the same again, he’s never going to have that relationship with Jared that he had, that’s gone now. He wishes he could forget the future he’s never going to have but it’s engrained in his brain, even this, his 22 year old college brain that used to only be filled with schoolwork, parties, and sexy men, never lost love.
He rubs his dry eyes, hot and stinging with lost sleep, before heading to the shower. The hot water rushes over his body, his mind still lingering on Jared’s departure. He thinks about why he even bothered to go with him to Subway, why did he need answers to questions he wasn’t even sure were true? Is he searching for a reason to believe? Does he want to believe me? His brain whirring with these thoughts and futile hopes until he thinks he can’t take it anymore.
He showers quickly deciding to go to class because it will make his day go faster and get his mind off of these types of thoughts.
Jared is laying staring up at the dark ceiling, a tiny bit of daylight peeking in the drawn blinds, the sliver of light cuts the ceiling like a blade as he works the waxen brown paper between his fingers, the edges smooth and ragged as he recites the lyrics to Sunshine in his head. He wonders what the music might sound like, what the singer’s voice is like, maybe deep and raspy or soft and throaty, is it punk or rock or hip hop. No it wouldn’t be hip hop he hates hip hop but punk, maybe its punk.
He thinks about the way Jensen’s mouth moved while he was telling him about the dogs and how he ended up with them as pets and smiles, not sure if it’s from the story or the way Jensen’s mouth moved with the words. Jared licks his lips, his eyes closing, remembering the warmth of Jensen’s mouth against his, how the bed felt under him as Jensen pushed in tight to his body their heat being shared in that tiny space. His chest heats up with the swell of bright emotion, his heart beating a quicker rhythm and he feels himself panting as his tongue graces across his lips wanting to experience that touch again.
He reaches down and touches the aching bulge building in his pajama bottoms and he thinks how even though Jensen might be crazy he sure has been the star of his masturbatory fantasies ever since that night in his dorm room. Oh God he’d never let Jensen know that though; don’t want to stir the crazy any more than it’s already been stirred. He bites his lower lip and looks over at Chad still sleeping off last night’s bender and makes sure the pillow is over his face before he even thinks about jerking off.
He slips his hand down under his pajama bottoms pushing the band down with the back of his hand, his fingers pulling his member upwards to lay on his abdomen. It’s already engorged and leaking with need. His fingers dance gracefully down over the swollen shaft to the base and he reaches in the drawer quietly, taking out his hand lotion, putting it under the sheets and squeezing a generous amount on the shaft, the cold squirt shocking and tantalizing at the same time. Jared takes his bottom lip between his teeth, gives one last glance at Chad as he lets his eyes close with the feeling of his hand smearing the gooey lotion up and down his firm flesh, fingers squeezing teasingly with each stroke and he pictures Jensen’s mouth pressed against his, his hands on his hips, their erections jutting tight inside their jeans and the ache is intense. He pulls harder, his hand stopping just below the head and he twists softly smearing the tender flesh under the velvety head before sliding back down to the base. His breath is ragged, tiny noises caught in his throat as he pushes upward into his own fist, his other hand hot and flat on his belly, fingertips grazing over the well defined muscles around his navel and he lets himself sink deeper into his fantasy about Jensen’s mouth. He squeezes his eyes tight, his thumb slipping over the head and lets his other hand sink below the waistband over his hip bone, and down his groin to squeeze his balls and manipulate the silken sacks lightly between his fingers pulling in a breath at the sensation. His hand making soft languishing strokes up and down his hard wanting cock as his hand gently squeezes and then releases the tender sacs shooting pleasure straight to the head of his cock.
Chad groans and turns over in bed. Jared goes completely still, his breath so ragged and fast that he can’t control himself, his eyes fly open as he stares over at Chad watching for any sign of him being awake because if he is he’ll never let him live this down as long as he lives. Chad grunts a little then snorts hard and begins to snore, his back to Jared, pillow still over his head and Jared sighs quietly blowing his bangs up with a puff of hot breath before closing his eyes and relaxing back into his own touch.
He decides to step up his fantasy a notch by doing things with Jensen that they hadn’t actually done and he thinks, but that’s what fantasizing is all about. He thinks about what Jensen’s cock must look like, not long and thick like Jared’s, maybe nice sized with a big head and a thick base, sturdy and thick just like Jensen’s body. He thinks about what it might taste like, salty, a bit like sweat but not as pungent, the silken skin flushed red with heat but still a little purple with need just below the surface and Jared wants to put his mouth on it. He licks his lips as his hand increases the pace on his own cock, quicker slip and slide up and down the frictionless shaft. His fingers slipping over the head the tender spongy flesh so sensitive with need, slit damp with precum and he shutters at the touch. His mind racing with thoughts of Jensen’s cock buried deep inside his mouth, the head slipping back and forth over his tongue as he sucks tight, the head pulling at the inside of his lips before pushing back inside deep into his throat and his hand squeezes tighter, pulls faster, his need outranking his wanting to play this fantasy out until he makes Jensen come down his throat but he can’t help it, his hips arch off the bed, his heels digging deep into the bed, a low quiet grunt from the back of his throat and he comes warm and sticky over his hand and belly.
Jared slips his hand out wiping it on the sheet before swiping off his belly quickly then pushing his cock back down below his waistband. He found the paper unscathed by his ejaculation and pushed it into his pocket before gathering his things and heading to the shower.
*****
Halfway through his last class of the day Jensen can’t stop daydreaming about what might happen tomorrow afternoon. He looks at the clock, the hands are moving painfully slow and he can’t help but want to get up and walk out claiming illness or something equally as fabricated. He watches his Professor scribble on the blackboard, circling the words Relationship status and then underlining Modern rituals of the sexual revolution.
His mind drifts back to Jared, to how his hazel eyes twinkle in the sunlight, smile on his face, the cold air making his cheeks pink and he can’t help but think about that kiss, that barely brush of lips. He shakes his head and focuses on what his professor is saying about role reversals in the family unit and how it reflects the social aspects of sexual behavior.
*****
Jensen takes a deep breath, his room is hot, he’s sweating, the covers are damp and clinging to his bare skin as he tries to kick them off. The moonlight coming through his window dances blue against his walls and he looks at the clock. The red neon light reads 2:30am. He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and he can’t for the love of God understand why his room is so hot. He gets up and opens his window feeling the cool fall air rushing over him and he closes his eyes, relaxes into the feeling and sits at his desk. He knows this is going to be another sleepless night and he wonders how many more of them he can take before he goes insane.
He sits in the moonlight not turning on his desk lamp and even though the cool air is filling his room he continues to sweat. He reaches over and grabs his bathroom supplies and heads to the showers. The room is dim, empty, and the tile is shockingly cool on his feet. He’s only ever been in the shower room at night once and well that was not to get clean. He likes having it all to himself, gives him a sense of actually being in his house, in his own shower, the peace and comfort of a reality that is not so full of drama.
He lets the water rush down over his body, the warm water rinsing away the sweat that fear and frustration have caused. He leans into the spray, the water baptizing him, making him feel clean for the first time in several weeks and he leans back against the cool tiles of the shower wall. He wants to sleep tonight, feel the overwhelming envelopment of blissful drifting into a better space, a space where Jared isn’t 18 and Jensen isn’t in college all over again.
The water beats over his flesh until it begins to feel slightly prickly on his thighs and Jensen pushes his hips forward letting the water tickle his cock into arousal before he takes it in hand and begins to mindlessly stroke himself into a full erection. He misses his morning showers, either alone or with Jared, those pornographic showers where he releases all of his stress before the day even begins and his hand moves slick over the shaft pumping his fist in a heated frenzy of want. His head lolls back, his mouth open as he squeezes his eyes so tight that he sees bright white lights flickering behind his dark lids and he takes in a hard breath, the feeling of ecstasy overwhelming his brain, his hand working harder, rougher, faster and it’s only seconds after his knees go weak that he pushes hard against the wall and he comes hard into the warm flowing water. His hand working, pumping his cock as it’s spilling all of his desires, needs, wants, and pain in thick white spurts, the water washing them all down the drain.
Jensen throws his wet towel over the chair, checks the clock and climbs back under the sheets, his hair still damp, body tired, mind satiated and he settles into sleep.
*****
Jared tosses and turns, his head rumbling with dreams, thoughts of tomorrow. He wonders if he should go by the library or will it rain? He reaches into his nightstand drawer and pulls out the note. He feels safer with it in his hand; the words scribbled across it somehow comforting to his doubt.
*****
Jensen wakes up with his face buried beneath his pillow as the sun streams in through the open window, his skin cold but comforting after last night’s heat wave. He rubs his eyes and looks at the clock. 9:45am. He sits up frantically. Damn it! I missed my first 2 classes He’s pulling on his jeans and shirt when he looks out the window at the beautiful sunny day, blue cloudless sky and he drops to the bed. He holds his head in his hands. Rain, it’s supposed to rain today. He shakes his head. He can’t remember if it started out sunny or if it started out rainy, all he remembers is the events of later that day and he hopes and prays that it starts to rain.
*****
Jared sits in Math class looking out the window at the building across the courtyard, it’s the Library. He sighs deeply because the sky is so blue, so clear and he puts his hand in his pocket to feel the worn edges of the note. The lyrics to Sunshine dance through his head and he wishes he knew Sadie and Harley. He pulls his hand from his pocket, puts it in his messenger bag and feels the silken plastic fabric of the umbrella he made sure to pack before he left this morning and his heart sinks, he thinks he might cry. How could he be so taken in by someone so clearly on the edge of insanity? He closes his Algebra book, pushes it into his bag and leaves the classroom.
He’s walking across campus. He can’t believe he left class; this is so not like him, so wrong for his character. School first, life second and never let yourself down, he recites this mantra over and over in his head as he walks quickly past his dorm heading in the direction of Jensen’s dorm. He looks at his watch and its 10am, he realizes he’s probably in a class right now and he sits down on the bench outside the gymnasium staring up the path leading to Jensen’s building. He feels so lost, so taken, so duped and he wants to scream at Jensen, to push him down, manhandle him and then kiss his soft lips into oblivion. He’s so torn up inside for someone he has really only known for a mere few weeks. How can he feel so torn up about him, he doesn’t even really know him? He leans back on the bench letting his hand slip into his front pocket, his fingers finding the edges of the note and softly worrying them under the pads of his thumb and forefinger as he lets his mind drift off.
*****
Jensen decides he’s not going to go to class today; he’s too keyed up and he’s late for his first two anyway. He finishes dressing, his mind on heading downtown for breakfast. He needs to get out of this room, off of this campus and focus on something else entirely. He pulls on his jacket and heads out the door.
The sun is bright and warm on his face as he walks down main street, the shops just opening up and he ducks into the coffee shop at the end of the street, the smell of fresh baked goods and brewing coffee too much for his senses. He orders a coffee and a banana nut muffin. He settles into a small table next to the window and he looks out into the street, people coming and going, the sound of the espresso machine hissing steam and scalded milk, the smell of toasting bagels overtaking the coffee smells and he sees a guy with a pink Mohawk, black jacket, long shorts and black leather boots riding a bike down the street. He laughs as he spies the cigarette pinched tight between his lips as he looks behind himself to change lanes and Jensen can’t help but find the amusement in it.
He leans back in his seat feeling relaxed for the first time, not worrying about anything, and he lets the feeling settle in. Maybe this is how it can be, maybe this is how it is going to be, me, alone and he tries to wrap his head around it, make sense of this whole mess without being in a frantic panic to have Jared with him.
*****
Jared can’t find the desire to go to the rest of his classes and he heads back to his room. He walks in and throws his messenger bag on his bed before flopping down and he breathes a sigh of relief at the fact that at least Chad won’t be back until sometime later this afternoon. He flops his arm over his forehead while pulling the note out of his pocket again, he looks at the folded up paper, studying it like it might just hold all of the answers to the universe but he knows it doesn’t and he lays it on his chest, palm covering it, the soft rise and fall of his chest with each breath lulling him to sleep.
*****
Jensen ends up back in his dorm room. He spent the afternoon wandering around downtown trying desperately to keep the calm he found in the coffee shop but in the end the closer it gets to 4pm the more nervous he gets. The clock says 3:20 and his palms are sweaty with anticipation.
The sky is still clear but a slight wind is kicking up, the trees swaying in the wind as Jensen watches out of his window. He opens his desk drawer and fiddles with a hand held poker game he had stashed in there trying to keep himself otherwise occupied.
*****
The wind kicks up a notch and a slight mist beats against Jared’s window showering it with tiny droplets.
Chad bursts in the door startling Jared awake. He sits straight up on the bed and Chad shoves his shoulder. “Are you sick Weasel?” He says tearing his clothes off. Jared looks up at him. “No. I’m just not feeling well is all.” Chad scoffs at him pulling on his practice sweats before heading out the door again.
Jared looks out the window, he sees the soft rain hitting it, he looks at the clock and it’s 3:50pm, his heart skips a beat and a huge smile crosses his face. He grips the note tight in his hand shoves it in his pocket and runs out the door without a coat or umbrella.
He hits the asphalt path with speed and determination as he runs down the path towards the Library.
The rain is coming down harder, the drops increasing in size and speed as he runs through the courtyard past the science building, down the path past the fountain and by now the rain is in a steady downpour.
He cuts through people rushing to get out of the rain, his hair soaked, bangs wet and matted to his forehead as he turns the corner and heads down the cement sidewalk to the Library.
His clothes are soaked, his breath hard in his chest and he sees a couple picnicking under the oak tree. He slows his pace, he checks his watch its 4:05 as he reaches the curb next to the couple.
Several pedestrians rush past him, their umbrella’s sheeted with rain as they hurry along and a man’s voice rings out over the sound of rain on taunt fabric. “She said yes and we’re having a baby!” Jared looks over at them as the man kisses the young woman tenderly. He scans the crowd seeing an Asian punk rocker chick with purple hair pumping her fist in the air while giving a cheer and behind her a fat man with a blue and pink umbrella lights a cigar at the bottom of the library steps.
Jared pulls the paper from his pocket and unfolds it, rereads it as the rain beats down on the paper, the ink smudging a little and he starts to cry, his tears hidden by the rain. The words I’ll be in my dorm waiting hit him hard in the gut and he shoves the damp paper into his pocket again.
*****
Jensen watches the rain beat down on the black path, the red numbers on the bedside clock beaconing 4:25pm and he lets his chest deflate with a long breath. It’s almost a relief that Jared hasn’t appeared on the path or at his door. He knows where things stand and he figures that Jared never went to the Library, that he couldn’t bring himself to believe in them, a future with them together.
*****
He’s not quite sure what he is going to say, what he can say to Jensen and he needs to figure this out. He needs answers to questions that Jensen himself may not even have an answer for. Jared sits on a bench down the path from Jensen’s dorm, his mind filled with so many thoughts, his heart full of emotion and he just can’t bring himself to go to Jensen’s room with so much, so much of everything.
The rain beats down steadily, soaking Jared to the bone, his lips quivering, skin purple with the cold and he looks up at the dorm building again. He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting here, how long he’s let confusion and knowing consume his every thought but he thinks it’s time, time to see Jensen, time to ask some questions, time for some answers even if they aren’t more than hypothesis on Jensen’s part.
*****
The radio is turned low, the music making sounds to drown out the loneliness in Jensen’s chest and he realizes that he needs to figure out how he is going to move on without Jared. He pushes his pen across the notebook in front of him in no conformed movements as his mind wanders. I did it before I knew Jared, I can do it again. His brain screams at him.
Jared climbs the staircase, his shoes squishing with each step. He reaches the floor to Jensen’s room, he opens the door and steps through it his heart racing with each step getting closer to Jensen’s door. He stands in front of the door making a puddle of water as he summons the courage to knock on it and finally he does, three soft taps on the wood before he hears the wooden desk chair slide across the tiled floor, the sound of soft music murmuring in the background and he swallows hard.
Jensen opens the door to the sight of a drenched to the bone Jared standing, correction shivering at his door. He can’t help but feel surprised and a smile turns up the edges of his mouth.
Jared gives a cold half pleading smile before Jensen smiles back at him.
“God Jared, you’re soaked to the bone.”
“Really, I didn’t notice.” Jared says sarcastically.
“Honestly Jared.” Jensen says reaching out and pulling him into his room before grabbing his towel off the floor and wrapping him up in it. “You’re frozen.” He leans in close giving him some of his body warmth, feeling Jared’s whole body quake.
Jared isn’t sure if he’s still shaking from the cold or Jensen’s warm embrace and he doesn’t even care anymore as long as he never lets go.
Jensen rubs hard and fast over Jared’s body, the towel already drenched. “
We need to get you out of these wet clothes.” He says pulling the towel from around Jared’s shoulders. “Why Jensen are you hitting on me?” Jared says smiling, his voice quaking from the cold, his lips still shivering. Jensen chuckles and shakes his head. “Always the wise guy.” He says pulling a pair of sweats out of the dresser drawer. Jared lifts an eyebrow. “Always?” He questions as he sheds his shirt. “Yes Jared, Always.” He lays the clothes on the bed and turns his back to Jared. “Now put those on.”
Jared takes off his slacks making sure he pulls the wet wrinkled and almost disintegrated note from his pocket, smoothes it out on the desk and lays it flat to dry. He drops his underwear on the floor and clears his throat. “Um Jensen do you have a pair of boxers I can borrow?” He covers himself with his hand nervously. Jensen laughs, reaches in the drawer and pulls out a pair. “Here.” He pushes them behind himself and when Jared takes them their hands brush together. Jensen’s heart skips a beat, the thought of Jared naked in his room in need of warmth makes his cock stir but he quickly squelches the feeling swallowing hard and coughing.
“Thanks.” Jared pulls on the underwear and then the warm dry clothes. He sighs deep and touches the cotton fabric. “Okay, you can look now.” Jensen turns around seeing Jared in the gray work out sweats, the shirt a little too short for his waistline, the pants a bit big around the waist but short in the legs and he smiles.
Jensen sits on the edge of the bed; he rubs the back of his neck and starts the conversation. “So I guess you went to the Library this afternoon?” He wants to bury his face in his hands and hide until Jared answers. “Yeah.” Jared says slow and meaningful. He doesn’t know where to start, what to say and he sits down on the desk chair, his lower lip between his teeth.
Jensen folds his hands resting his elbows on his knees and leaning in towards Jared. “So, was everything like I said it would be?” He asks with hesitation and anxiousness.
Jared smiles and looks over at the wet brown paper. “It was like you said it would be.”
“So what’s the verdict Jared, I’m sure you didn’t walk through the rain with no coat on to my dorm just to wear ill fitting workout clothes.” Jared gives a little laugh. “I believe you Jensen, I really do but how can it be possible, how can you have been here before?”
Jensen shrugs his shoulders. “Look Jared when I was thirteen I discovered this ability, I can’t explain it, I don’t even understand it and it took me 19years to even think I had it mastered and then this happened. I don’t know why or how or even if anyone else in the world can do it, all I know is that it brought me here to you and I don’t question it anymore.”
Jared stands up and walks over to Jensen and sits down next to him as he looks into his eyes and gives him a pensive smile. “Do I love your freckles in the future?” Jensen looks at Jared his eyes filling with tears. “Yes, you call it your freckle kink.” Jared reaches up and touches Jensen’s face. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He whispers into Jensen’s mouth before pushing in softly, his still chilled lips brushing Jensen’s hot flesh as Jensen moans into the feeling.
Jared breaks the kiss and looks into Jensen’s eyes. “What does that song Sunshine sound like when it’s sung?” Jensen makes a confused face. “Well, really it’s been a while since I’ve heard it but it’s nice. A male singer does it, his voice is smooth and low and it’s considered alternative.” Jared smiles his eyes light up. “Like punk?” Jensen laughs. “Kind of like musically talented tame punked up pop.” “Cool.”
Jared leans in for another kiss but Jensen pulls back, running his fingers through Jared’s still wet hair as he stares into his hazel eyes. “Is this what you really want?” He asks. “Yes. I feel like it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Does that sound weird?” Jensen smiles at him. “You’re asking me if that sounds weird?” He chuckles before leaning in and kissing Jared again.
Their bodies press tight, hands moving over shoulders and down backs groping and sliding as they push themselves up onto the bed squeezing tight together on the small bed. Jensen grinds lightly into Jared’s thigh his erection apparent to Jared as they tangle around each other their mouths refusing to break their kiss.
Jensen slips his hand down the front of Jared’s pants feeling the hot bulge pressing tight against the boxers and he starts to stroke up and down against it, his fingers feeling the tight hot flesh giving with each push and stroke. Jared takes a ragged breath pulling his mouth from Jensen’s and leaning his head back on the pillow, his eyes closed tight, the feeling hot and tantalizing filling his brain. Jensen kisses at his exposed neck, his pulse beating hard in the vein along the side of his throat and Jensen can’t help but lick a line down it. Jared gasps, his shoulders go tense and he arches his hips into Jensen’s steady touch.
Jared’s hands pull on Jensen’s shoulders kneading the flesh as Jensen laves the skin just below his Adam’s apple, dipping into the hollow, sucking at the tender flesh, making Jared spasm with pleasure. His brain fills with deep need and he cries out Jensen’s name as he rocks into the rough slide over his cock. Jared slides his hands down between them over Jensen’s cotton shirt feeling his chest rising with his ragged breaths, his nipples hard points poking through the soft cotton slipping a fingertip over one of them, feeling Jensen press into the pleasure and it sends Jared’s brain into overdrive. He bucks hard into Jensen’s touch begging for more, for him to touch his naked cock. “Please Jensen, please touch me the right way.”
Jensen sits up, pulls off his t-shirt and rolls Jared onto his back, pulls off the sweatpants and boxers freeing Jared’s hard needy cock. It’s long not too thick but full and flushed red, the head swollen with blood begging to be sucked. He slips his fingers over the tight flesh the soft touch tickling Jared almost painfully as he bucks and groans with need before he relaxes again.
Jensen reaches into his nightstand, gets out a small bottle of lube and squeezes it onto his palm before slicking Jared’s cock up with it, his hand stroking softly over the head, his palm tight around the base and he starts the slow slip and slide of pleasure up and down Jared’s hard cock.
Jared feels hot, his eyes fixed on Jensen’s chest, his navel peeking out just above the waistband of his jeans and he wishes he could see his line of pubic hair. He wants to run his fingers through it while Jensen strokes him off. He puts his index and middle fingers into his mouth and begins to sucks on them, the wet heat of his mouth slipping, sliding, and gliding over the sensitive pads.
Jensen watches Jared suck his fingers, his cock gets so hard that it’s painful in his jeans. His hand working Jared’s cock tenderly the slick slide up and down twisting just below the head, his knee pressed tight against Jared’s balls and he wants to free his own erection.
Jared pulls his fingers free, sits up on his elbows and leans forward slipping the two wet fingers under Jensen’s waistband, dipping them down so that he can feel the heat, the top of the bulge hard against the cotton weave. The damp of Jared’s fingers pushing through to Jensen’s cock and he moans shoving his hips into the touch. “Take it out Jared, please.” He groans his knees shaking with the need.
Jared smiles a coy coquettish smile and pulls his fingers out, unbuttons, then unzips Jensen’s jeans sliding them off his hips, his boxers dragging down with them and his cock falls free, the heavy thick base dropping forward just the slightest pull upward. It’s like Jared had imagined, perfect and full and all he wants to do is put his mouth on it. He touches it, his fingers still cold even though the blood coursing through his veins is hot and fast. Jensen hisses with pleasure at the touch, his hips gyrating begging for more contact.
Jared closes his hand around the throbbing member, the heat pulsing through his hand and Jensen increases his thrusts over Jared’s cock. Jared doesn’t know how long he’s going to last with Jensen’s hand working at him so hard, his hand working Jensen’s cock now and he sits up completely, lets go of Jensen and pulls off his shirt before returning his hand to Jensen’s cock.
Jensen leans back on his heels his hips pushing upward, hand moving fast and rough over Jared’s member, his mind a blind mass of desire and disbelief. He can’t believe Jared is here with him that he is touching him, feeling him and he lets go of all his apprehensions about the future. He hears a soft whisper next to his ear. “Let me taste you?” Jared begs a warm hand on his chest, wet tongue riming across his earlobe and he answers. “Yes, taste me.”
Jared reaches down and removes Jensen’s hand from his phallus, helps him settle back on the bed before he climbs over his hips, his needy member dragging heavy thick and wet over the rumpled fabric of Jensen’s jeans pushed down to his knees and he pushes them off, their heavy fabric thudding as they hit the floor. Jared smiles an evil mischievous smile at Jensen, licks his lips and settles on his one elbow, positioning his head over his groin. He takes Jensen’s member in his hand lifting the heavy weight, brushing the head over his wet lips and looks at Jensen watching him through his damp bangs. “I’ve thought about this, masturbated to this image and now here I am thinking about what it looks like to you.” He runs his teeth softly over the head. Jensen clenches his teeth, drawing breath in through them and then he exhales hard. “You’re beautiful Jared.” He runs his fingers through the damp bangs pushing them up off his forehead. “You’re always beautiful to me.” Jared closes his mouth over the head, it fills his mouth, he laves the underside with the tip of his tongue teasing at it and Jensen clutches at the back of Jared’s head. Jared closes his eyes waiting for that needy shove, wanting that feeling of the head forcing to the back of his throat but Jensen just rubs the back of his head, threads his fingertips through his hair and Jared moans before slipping his mouth down over the shaft his lips and teeth tight to the skin, scraping, gliding making Jensen insane with the pleasure.
He glides up and down, tongue flat, letting it work against the hard vein, lapping slightly at the head when he pulls to the top before diving down again slow and meaningfully. Jensen pushes a little bit increasing Jared’s speed and depth, the head brushing the sides of Jared’s cheeks as he angles his head so he won’t choke on it before he can steady himself for the feeling at the back of his throat and then he lets Jensen push it deep into his mouth, to the back pushing against his tonsils. He loves the feeling, the deep full penetration and his own cock jumps between his thighs, head leaking on Jensen’s leg as he softly slips it up and down his thigh moaning at the sensation the hairs are making on the head.
Jensen feels Jared’s cock slipping damp over his thigh but he can’t reach it so he moves his thigh with each movement of Jared’s making it grind and rub over the head along the base while also manipulating his balls. Jared’s eyes roll back in his head the feeling of Jensen in his mouth the taste hot and salty while his cock is being manipulated by Jensen’s thigh sends him to the edge of pleasure. He sucks hard on Jensen’s manhood pulling hard and slow begging it to cum in his mouth and Jensen complies with a loud grunt his hips bucking up, his legs go still and tense hands clutch Jared’s shoulders as the hot wet spurts of his cum shoot hard into Jared’s mouth coating his tongue as he tries to swallow around the thickness of Jensen, his mouth milking Jensen’s cock. Jensen relaxes against the bed spent and limp and Jared pulls off his softening member.
Jared sits up looking at Jensen’s chest panting, his satiated eyes hooded and he smiles at the sight. He takes his cock in his hand and starts to jerk himself off but Jensen stops him by taking his hand. “No Jared, let me.” He lays Jared back, settles between his thighs and licks at the head. His hand holding the pulsating shaft tight and he can tell it won’t be long until Jared cums so he doesn’t waste any time with teasing him. He dives down, puffing his cheeks out, letting the length go as deep as he can take it before sucking hard as he pulls up, his tongue doing that wiggling thing that he remembers Jared liking so much, one down, two up, three down and Jared clutches the sheet pulling hard, his hips push into Jensen’s face as he comes into his mouth. Jensen pulls off grabbing his cock, stroking him through the spasms as Jared cums, it shoots out onto Jensen’s chest, the warm white spurts dripping down between his pecs.
Jared opens his eyes to see the beauty of Jensen staring up into his face, still sitting up on his knees, white cum glistening on his chest and he sits up, pulls Jensen in for a kiss, pushing their chests tight together, sharing the wet mess between them and they fall down onto the bed bodies smashed together, cocks limp and gliding over sensitized against each other. Things couldn’t feel more perfect or more right in Jensen’s world.
It’s a hot heady feeling like being high, his breath so fast and hot, their hearts beating in time together and he can’t imagine perfection being so wonderful. He closes his eyes with the feeling of peace.
Suddenly he feels like he’s running for his life, images flashing behind his closed eyelids, sensations of hot, cold like electricity as he rushes faster and faster his heart on fire and suddenly he stops, jolts in a panic as if brakes are being applied on a speeding car.
He opens his eyes, the feeling of warm sun on his face, Jared slung over his body, and he blinks like he is realizing something but can’t wrap his head around it. He looks at Jared’s face, its older, his hair is longer, more moppy. He looks around the room and it’s not his dorm room, it’s his bedroom back in his house, his own house. He sits up, the dog stirs at the end of the bed, Sadie’s head up over the mattress. He looks at his hand, a silver wedding band on his left hand; he grabs Jared’s hand, same band on his left hand. He shakes with joy.
Jared opens his eyes and grunts. “Morning baby.” He rolls over pulling the sheet off of him exposing his naked body. “It’s hot in here.” He says sitting up, the dogs rushing over to him. “I’ll go make some coffee while you take a shower. You passed out last night after our sexathon.” He winks at him, leaning in and kissing him on the mouth. That feeling Jensen remembers so well of warm lips tight to his that full grown mouth over his.
He watches Jared pull on his pajama bottoms and sleepily saunter out of the room. He gets up, looks around, wonders if it was a dream but no, no, it couldn’t have been it was too realistic. He sits up on the edge of the bed rubbing the back of his neck and laughing. Maybe it was a dream. What a wild dream he thinks slipping into his slippers before heading to the bathroom.
He showers, his mind buzzing with thoughts. He dries off, pulls on his pajama bottoms and walks out into the hall; Sadie is waiting for him as always right outside the door. He pats her head and heads down the hall towards the stairs. He notices pictures lining the walls that weren’t there before and he stops to look at them.
The first one is of himself and a very young looking Jared at a carnival, another of them seems to be at Jensen’s college graduation commencements with his parents. He looks at another of them at Jared’s commencements with both of their families. One picture is them in front of their house; Jared is holding the sold sign as they kiss on the front porch. He walks down the hall looking at all the pictures, the memories of them flooding his brain like he’s opening doors with each one, remembering things that happened but he can’t actually remember being there for them but he was there, the proof is here in these pictures.
He smiles, his heart full of love as he learns his life with Jared started in 2000 in college when he stops at the last picture frame. It’s not a photograph but a mounted memento of their love. He puts his hand on the glass as he looks at the Brown ripped piece of paper bag with the smudged black ink lyrics to Sunshine scribbled on it and he looks at the hand written message across the white mounting at the bottom of the frame. My first Love Letter From Jensen 2000.
Jared calls from the kitchen up the stairs breaking Jensen’s trance. “Hey sleepy head, coffees ready when you are.”
Jensen walks into the kitchen his mind reeling with all of his new memories overtaking the old ones and he grabs Jared from behind wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” He says into his neck.
Jared smiles and turns around in his arms looking down into his face. “Only each and every day for the past 10yrs.” They kiss a deep and passionate kiss, as Jensen thinks he’s never losing this again. His life is better now, he and Jared have shared their lives together for 10 years and the thought of possibly losing him again isn’t even a possibility in his mind. He vows silently to himself that slipping isn’t in their future because there isn’t anything they can’t handle in the present or future together.
The end
I hope you have enjoyed the story and feedback is much appreciated.
